We are encouraged to say something if we see something. I did and found my voice.
National Council on Aging,
NCOA, (www.ncoa.org) reports that approximately 1 in 10 Americans aged
60+ have experienced some form of elder abuse, with estimates as high as 5
million elders abused each year. Elder abuse is broadly defined
to include all types–such as neglect, physical, emotional, and verbal abuse–one
study estimates that only .07% of cases are reported to authorities.
When narrowed down to
financial abuse and exploitation, the statistics are even more grim with the
American Association of Retired Persons (www.aarp.org)
stating that 1 in 44 cases are reported. Of those, few were prosecuted and even
fewer resulted in conviction.
I held a natural reticence
toward silence when I considered something was a private matter or a family
affair. Husbands and wives quarrel. Parents reprimand children. Without
physical harm, I did not understand my duty to report.
In elder financial
exploitation, a bias exists to blame the victim. Granny should have read the fine print better or she
freely chose that her child should
have a new car or fancy vacation. It’s none of our business to question her
decisions or to question the sudden apparent wealth of her child. By blaming
the victim, we absolve ourselves of taking action.
I politely demurred and kept
my silence until I realized the perpetrator banked on that, making me complicit
in the crimes.
There is a price to the
elder for our silence. NCOA stated
elder victims have a 300% higher risk of death when compared to those
who have not been mistreated. Then there
is the price of the concerned person who breaks the silence and dares to
question the bonds of trust within a family. I know this because I am paying
the price of breaking my silence. By honoring the trust of a beloved elder, I
betrayed the trust of a family member by seeking help.
At its core, trust is a
slippery weapon when used against the elder. Age or illness may have diminished
their abilities, but trust and judgment remain as their tools for retaining
independence and relevance. The World Health Organization recognizes an
“expectation of trust” exists between the older person and their abuser. The
elder writes checks or signs documents with trust, even as their eyesight may
fail them or their ability to decipher terms wanes. Two-thirds of abusers are
those who the elder naturally trust the most.
The New England Journal of
Medicine reports, "Perpetrators are most likely to be
adult children or spouses, and they are more likely to be male, to have a
history of past or current substance abuse, to have mental or physical health
problems, to have a history of trouble with the police, to be socially
isolated, to be unemployed or have
financial problems, and to be experiencing major stress . . .
Most studies indicate that older women are more likely than older men to be
victims of abuse.” (emphasis added)
The urge to protect the
abuser is my beloved elder’s greatest hurdle. Like other elder victims, she is
embarrassed and will not admit to harm in fear of the consequences the
perpetrator may face. Age has made her increasingly dependent on others and
often the abuser is the person she most relies upon for her support. By taking
action against the abuser, she risks increased isolation.
Laws, created to protect,
necessitate the elder to bear witness against the perpetrator, leading to few
Orders of Protection and abysmally low conviction rates. Legal standards to
prove duress or fear are not calibrated to the frail.
I did not challenge my own
silence when learning of a single instance of misappropriation. Yet, repeated
instances exposed her inner turmoil and caused my concern. The family did not
want to see abuse and challenged my intrusion. The authorities supported me and
encouraged her to break her own silence, even while acknowledging the devilish
difficultly in prosecution.
With the weakening of our
economy, incidences of elder financial exploitation will inevitably rise. As
employment weakens, it may be the elder with the only secure source of income
through their Social Security, investments, or retirement plan. They are ripe
for harm. We need to help elders by recognizing the patterns of abuse that
evidence financial exploitation.
There is a time in life
when the child becomes the caregiver, the overseer and the protector. As a
parent or guardian, we would never let a child be bullied, abused, or hurt. As
the tables turn, we must offer that same code of protection to our aging
population. It is our time to speak up and ensure our elders are safe and
protected.
