I'm a sucker for a story about strength found in surprising places, so when my next guest told me about her experiences in speaking with women at a nursing home, I was all in. Please read on as Michelle Cox introduces us to three incredible women and the window into a different kind of strength they provide.
Strong
in Their Weakness
by Michelle Cox
by Michelle Cox
Several years ago I
found myself wandering the halls of a nursing home, visiting with residents who
happened to be mostly women and mostly immigrants. As I got to know them better, listening to
their unsung stories, I was stunned that so many of these women, bed-ridden or
hobbling along - a frail skeletal version of their former, robust selves - had
lived such incredible lives of strength and fortitude.
Almost all had a story
to share about overcoming the odds, of endurance and hardship, and sacrifice. I
was struck by the spectrum of attitudes I heard. So near the end of their
lives, many had slipped into bitterness and depression, still harboring anger
and nursing the many wounds they had picked up along the way. This was what I
had expected to find.
What I was surprised by
was that some who had had equally hard, even tragic, circumstances retained a
positive demeanor and even a smile. They had a sparkle to them, a certain
radiance. I found myself naturally more attracted to these women and sought
them out for further conversation, hoping to discover the secret to this
seemingly misplaced happiness. As I went from room to room, collecting stories
that varied widely in circumstance and which circumnavigated the globe, it became
clear to me that the central theme was always the same. Forgiveness.
One of the first women
I spoke to was Danuta Szwarc, who saw the Russians invade her tiny village on
the border of Poland and Germany in 1941 and witnessed her husband being shot. She and her four children were then packed
into a train and sent to a Siberian labor camp where they spent the remainder
of the war, near starvation, until liberated.
They were then taken to refugee camps in Pakistan and India until they
finally made it to the United States.
Here, they began again, with Danuta tending her grandchildren and filling
the house with people and food, love and laughter. Her children say of her that she was the
“most positive person we’ve ever met,” and that, indeed, “she could move mountains.”
Emilia Morales was born
at a similar time, 1909, but in a small Mexican village, frequently raided by
Pancho Villa and his revolutionaries. Her well-to-do family often hid from his
criminal gang in secret compartments in the walls of their home. Emelia
witnessed horrific violence at the revolutionaries’ hands as well as horrible
abuse within her own family. Incredibly, not only was she beaten by her father,
but by her older sister! Emilia eventually married a mean, manipulative man with
whom she had four children. Two of them died of cancer, as did her husband,
leaving Emilia alone to make ends meet, which she did by working long hours as
a cleaner in a hospital. Despite the life of violence and misery she endured, Emilia
still goes about with a smile, looking forward to what the day will bring,
always saying “tomorrow is another day” and “I don’t let things bother me.”
Equally inspiring is
the story of Soon Ok Shin, who was born in Korea in 1911 and after completing
grade school was married by arrangement to a wealthy businessman. She had three children, but was forced, via a
common custom at the time, to give her first child to her brother and his wife
who couldn’t have children of their own. She was further saddened when her
husband took more wives after her, again a common custom among the rich of
Korea. Eventually, she was able to escape her husband and her life in Korea
when her two children immigrated to the United States and sent for her. Here
she lived with them, helping to raise their children and grateful for even the
smallest kindnesses. She remains a very warm, humble person, encouraging and
full of concern for those around her.
These are a few of the
stories that stood out for me as I walked through those lonely halls - stories
of women who, despite almost any degree of tragedy, could not only find the
strength to keep going, but to somehow be happy. These women were strong in
their weakness. They found the ability to forgive the many wrongs done to them.
At first glance, this might seem a weakness in and of itself, but forgiveness
was the ticket to a deeper power, a letting go, a freeing - that no one or nothing
could shake. Though they were often trapped by circumstances, they were not
trapped by bitterness and actively chose
forgiveness – not only of the people who hurt them, but perhaps themselves as well
and were therefore able to look forward with promise.
Therein lies their
strength and the secret to their happiness, their contentment, their peace,
even now, in this moment, in this place.
 |
| Michelle Cox, author |
Bio:
Michelle Cox writes the popular
blog, “Novel Notes of Local Lore,” which features true stories of Chicago’s
forgotten residents as well as a humorous blog, “How to Get Your Book Published
in 7,000 Easy Steps – A Practical Guide,” both of which feature on her website.
Her novel, A Girl Like You, the first in a series, is due out with She
Writes Press this April. Ms. Cox lives in Chicago with her husband and three
children.
A Girl Like You is a historical mystery with a
dash of romance set in 1930’s Chicago. Beautiful Henrietta Von Harmon works to
support her family after the big crash and her father’s subsequent suicide.
Things begin to look up when she takes a job as a taxi dancer - until the floor
matron turns up dead. When the aloof but charming Inspector Clive Howard
appears on the scene to investigate, things begin to heat up when she is
persuaded to go undercover for him and they uncomfortably find themselves drawn
to each other in most unsuitable ways.
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FRIDAY FEATURES is a steady presence on Out of the Fog where I explore the concept of "strong women." Who are they? What makes them strong? How do we see them in writing and/or in business? If you're an author, what is their place in the world of thrillers of mysteries? If you're in business, how is the working environment impacted by the presence of a "strong woman" and how are they seen as leaders and team members? If you're an emerging strong woman, tell us about your journey. Have other questions you find compelling? Ask away and I'll post the answers here.
If you have something to say about the topic of
strong women, contact me on Twitter:
@conniehambley.
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